October 11, 2026 · prayer

Talking With the Father

Matthew 6:6

Many people say:

"I don't know how to pray."

And often they say it because they believe prayer requires a certain kind of words.

As if you had to change your voice.

Use special phrases.

Speak more slowly.

Sound more spiritual.

Or know exactly what to say.

Then the moment to pray comes and we end up saying something like:

"Lord, bless this day, take care of my family, thanks for everything, amen."

And there's nothing wrong with a short prayer.

The problem is when it becomes an automatic phrase we repeat without really talking to God.

Sometimes we believe we don't know how to pray because we don't know how to "pray pretty."

But Jesus never said you had to pray pretty.

In Matthew 6:6 he says:

"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."

There are two words that completely change how we understand prayer:

Thy Father.

Jesus doesn't present prayer as a speech.

He presents it as a relationship.

Prayer Is Not a Speech, It's a Relationship

When we talk with someone we know deeply, we don't usually prepare a speech.

We just talk.

There are long conversations.

There are short conversations.

There are moments when we know exactly what we want to say.

And others when all we can say is:

"I don't even know how to explain this."

A relationship works that way.

And Jesus says that when we pray, we're talking with our Father.

That means God already knows us.

We're not walking in front of a stranger.

We don't have to introduce ourselves.

We don't have to prove we deserve attention.

We don't have to convince him that our problem is important enough.

He already knows who we are.

He knows how we arrived.

He knows if we're tired.

He knows if we're frustrated.

He knows if we're grateful.

He knows if we're upset.

And he also knows if we're saying the right words while our heart is somewhere else entirely.

That's why prayer can be honest.

We can say:

"Father, I'm tired."

"I'm worried."

"I don't understand what you're doing."

"I'm angry."

"Thank you."

"Forgive me."

"I need help."

That is prayer.

Not because the words are impressive.

But because we're talking with him.

Praying to Be Seen or Praying to Be Heard

Right before Matthew 6:6, Jesus says:

"And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men..."

Jesus wasn't condemning public prayer.

He himself prayed in front of other people.

The problem was who they were praying for.

Prayer had stopped being a conversation with God and had become a performance for people.

And that question can still make us uncomfortable today:

Who am I praying for?

Does my prayer change when someone else is listening?

Do I start using words I would never use when I'm alone?

Am I talking to God, or am I trying to sound good in front of others?

It's not a question meant to judge us.

It's an invitation to examine the heart.

Because maybe one of the best tests of our prayer life is what happens when no one can hear us.

There's no audience.

There's no recognition.

There's no one saying:

"What a beautiful prayer."

Just you and your Father.

And Jesus says:

I'm there too.

You Don't Need Many Words

Matthew 6:7-8 continues:

"But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him."

Once again it appears:

"Your Father."

Jesus says we aren't heard because we manage to find enough words.

God isn't waiting for us to fill a certain number of minutes.

We don't need to explain the situation perfectly for him to understand it.

In fact, Jesus says something that seems to provoke a pretty logical question:

If God already knows what I need...

Why do I have to pray?

If the Father Already Knows, Why Pray?

Because prayer was never only about informing God.

He already knows.

Prayer is about being with him.

When a child talks with his father about something the father already knows, the conversation is still valuable.

Not because it delivers new information.

But because the child is sharing his heart.

Something similar happens with God.

We pray because we need his presence.

We need to remember who he is.

We need to take our worries somewhere other than just our own minds.

We need to listen.

We need to surrender.

We need to give thanks.

We need to acknowledge that we're not in control.

And many times we come to prayer wanting God to change a situation and discover that, while we're talking with him, he begins to change us.

The situation may not have changed yet.

But something inside us has.

We arrive worried and find peace.

We arrive upset and begin to see things differently.

We arrive desperate and remember that we're not alone.

Prayer doesn't only move our request toward God.

It also turns our heart toward him.

Prayer Keeps Us Close While We Wait

Not long ago we talked about patience and staying faithful while we wait.

Prayer is one of the ways we stay close during that waiting.

Because waiting without prayer can quickly turn into frustration.

We start watching only the clock.

"Still nothing."

"Not yet."

"How much longer?"

But when we bring that waiting before God, something changes.

Maybe we're still waiting.

But we're no longer waiting alone.

We can say:

"Father, I'm still waiting."

"Today it hurt again."

"Today I have less patience than yesterday."

"Today I need you to hold me up."

And we can come back tomorrow.

And the next day.

Prayer doesn't always shorten the wait.

But it can keep the wait from pulling us away from God.

The Disciples Had to Learn Too

Luke 11:1 says:

"And it came to pass, that, as he was praying in a certain place, when he ceased, one of his disciples said unto him, Lord, teach us to pray..."

Think about who was asking that question.

The disciples.

People who physically walked with Jesus.

They heard him teach.

They saw his miracles.

They watched him pray.

And even so, they said:

"Teach us."

That should take quite a bit of pressure off us.

If the disciples needed to learn, we can learn too.

There's no shame in starting.

There's no shame in having few words.

There's no shame in saying:

"Lord, I don't know how to talk to you, but here I am."

That alone can already become prayer.

Jesus then taught them what we know as the Lord's Prayer.

And that model teaches us several things.

It begins with relationship:

"Our Father."

It acknowledges who God is:

"Hallowed be thy name."

It surrenders our will:

"Thy will be done."

It presents needs:

"Give us this day our daily bread."

It seeks forgiveness.

It speaks of relationships.

It asks for direction and protection.

It's not just a prayer to repeat without thinking.

It's a structure that teaches us how to approach God.

You Don't Need to Start With an Hour

Sometimes we hear about people who pray an hour every day.

And we think:

"Well, I can't do that."

So we do zero.

But maybe we're making it too complicated.

You don't have to start with an hour.

Start with five minutes.

No phone.

No music.

Nothing else open.

Sit down.

And talk.

Maybe the first thirty seconds will be uncomfortable.

That's okay.

You can start by saying:

"Father, here I am."

Then tell him what's on your mind.

Not what you think you should say.

What you actually have.

"This worries me."

"Thank you for this."

"That upset me."

"Help me with this decision."

"Forgive me for this."

"Today I'm happy."

And then be quiet too.

Prayer doesn't have to become another task of spiritual productivity.

It's time with the Father.

Some Days Prayer Falls Short

There will also be days when five minutes seems like too much.

Days when we simply have no words.

Romans 8:26 says:

"Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered."

I find that deeply comforting.

The Bible acknowledges that there will be moments when we don't know what to ask for.

We don't even know how to express it.

God doesn't respond by saying:

"Come back when you can word your prayer better."

The Spirit helps us precisely in our weakness.

There are days when the prayer may be:

"Lord, help me."

There are days when it may be:

"Father, I can't do this anymore."

There are days when maybe all we can do is cry.

There are moments when we sit before God and nothing comes out.

And even so, we can stay.

Because God doesn't grade our eloquence.

He isn't counting words.

He isn't scoring our prayer.

He knows the heart even when the heart doesn't know how to speak.

James Reminds Us That Prayer Has Power

James 5:16 says:

"The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

That doesn't mean we find the perfect combination of words to force God to do what we want.

Prayer is not a formula.

It's dependence.

It's trust.

It's a person approaching God believing that he hears and that he can act.

That's why we should pray for others.

For our family.

For our church.

For our needs.

For those who are sick.

For those who are suffering.

For decisions.

For direction.

For forgiveness.

And also simply to be with God.

Not every conversation with someone we love exists because we need to ask them for something.

Sometimes we talk because we want to be close.

Our prayer can become like that too.

"Pray Without Ceasing"

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says:

"Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks..."

"Pray without ceasing" doesn't mean we'll spend all twenty-four hours of the day with our eyes closed.

That would also be pretty dangerous if we're driving.

The idea is to live with an open conversation with God.

Praying as we start the day.

While we drive.

Before a hard meeting.

When we get good news.

When something goes wrong.

When we're grateful.

When a worry appears.

May our first reaction slowly become:

"Father..."

Not only when the situation has already reached the point where nothing else works.

Not using prayer as the spiritual emergency button.

But making it a natural part of our relationship with God.

What Would You Say Today if You Didn't Have to Sound Good?

Maybe that's the most important question.

If no one could hear you.

If you didn't have to impress anyone.

If there were no "correct" words.

If you were simply sitting before your Father...

What would you say to him today?

Maybe:

"I'm afraid."

"I'm tired."

"I'm confused."

"I'm grateful."

"I miss someone."

"I need help."

"Forgive me."

"Thank you for not leaving me."

That's where your prayer can begin.

You don't need to begin by impressing God.

He already knows you.

You just need to begin by talking with him.

A Practice for This Week

This week, pick a specific moment of the day.

Five minutes.

Find a place where you can be without a screen and without interruptions.

Don't prepare a speech.

Don't try to sound spiritual.

Simply begin:

"Father..."

And talk with him.

Maybe during the first few days it won't feel natural.

That's okay.

Relationships grow by spending time together.

And prayer is also learned by praying.

After you talk, stay for a moment in silence.

Not because you'll necessarily hear a voice.

But because a conversation with God doesn't need to be full of noise all the time.

Being with him matters too.

Five minutes.

This week.

Not to check a box.

Not so you can say you prayed.

Just to talk with your Father.