Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
Paul sets a deliberately high standard: not a love made of feelings that come and go, but one modeled on Christ's total self-giving for His church.
Let's not overcomplicate this: loving this way doesn't depend on always feeling the same motivation. It depends on choosing to give yourself, even on the days you don't feel like it.
Does the love I give in my relationship look more like an exchange, or a giving-of-self like Christ's?
Do one concrete act of service for your spouse today, without expecting anything in return.
Lord, teach me to love as Christ loved: giving myself, not only when it's convenient or when I get the same back.
Recommended reading: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7